In one week Noelle has her open-heart surgery. I have moments of panic, moments of peace, moments of fear, moments of hope. The next 10,080 minutes will be the longest and shortest minutes I’ve ever experienced. My heart hurts for my little bug. Laying down my sweet baby girl’s life in the hands of surgeons is makes my stomach hurt to think about. I know God will guide the doctors and I know the statistics and I know the Truth of a loving and gracious God, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
There has been an overwhelming amount of support from friends, family and even complete strangers during this time. New friends have been made and old friends have come closer. This broken heart within our little joy will be healed and through her broken heart, it has brought people together. God’s ultimate plan is to bring glory to himself. I remember that this is not about me, but we get to play in this story of redemption, Noelle Joy (the birth of joy) gets to play a part, even now, as young as she is. She entered the world a mover and a shaker, what made me think she’d stop at birth. I only fear (in a good way) what is to come, she already has the name babyzilla.
We are hopeful, we are scared and we are excited to have this all behind us. For now, we will try to prepare and comfort Noelle the best we can for her “big hospital visit.” We even have her Halloween costume ready for the hospital in case she’s up for wearing it (that’s the day she should be getting out of ICU).
In a book I started reading this week I read, “It really is God’s grace that He doesn’t reveal the entirety of our futures all at once. If we knew what we’d have to face in the future, we’d all likely run the other way – like Jonah.” Eugene Cho, Overrated
Thank you to those of you that have participated in this story. We couldn’t be more grateful and humbled by your generosity and love.